EBC

The Undercurrent

You quietly hide the disconnect you feel in your own body and hope a partner doesn't clock it. You're deeply committed to your own healing, but sex can start to feel like something to get through instead of enjoy.

Your pattern

Somewhere in your body, you don't quite believe that who you are authentically is enough, and instead of naming that, you quietly hide the disconnect and hope no one clocks it.

Strength: you're deeply committed to your own healing, even when it's slow going.

Blind spot: intimacy can start to feel like something to get through instead of enjoy, and the people closest to you usually feel the gap even when you never say a word.

Kinks you might enjoy

  • Sensation play (temperature, texture): low stakes, low pressure ways to actually notice your body again, without any performance riding on it.

  • Guided somatic bondage: gentle restraint paired with direction invites you to stay present in your body instead of quietly checking out, which is your default under pressure.

  • Aftercare centered scenes: built around care and presence rather than intensity, this directly counters the belief that your body's disconnection needs to be hidden rather than tended to.

I'm an ex-evangelical turned sex coach.

I grew up with a lot of shame & fear around sex, and spent years [with support!] figuring out how to get out of my own head so I could enjoy myself in bed. 9 years and hundreds of clients later, I continue to use my own experiences and professional training in the place we all feel most vulnerable: our sex lives.

Try coaching

What working with me looks like

There's no audience here, and nothing to perform. This is private, one on one, low pressure work aimed at actually rebuilding a felt sense of safety in your body, not proving anything to anyone, including me. You get to stop managing the gap you've been hiding and just let someone help you close it.

If you're ready to stop hiding the gap, let's close it together. Book your intro call below.

Here’s what my clients say…

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex helped me build the courage to be who I truly am.
Brian
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In just three months, I’ve learned to explore and embrace my kinks.
Josh
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
One of the best decisions of my life.
Victoria
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex makes the hard work fun and serves it up with sass!
Diane
Start your journey!

It’s not talk therapy or a curriculum. Sessions are built on somatic coaching, meaning we work with your mind AND body. Inner-child work so the part of you that believes you’re “too much” or “not enough” get understood. Optional hands-on or guided demonstrations so you can actually practice and not just talk about it.

All with an approach that adjusts to you instead of the other way around.

Alex Gay with short, curly blonde hair and a beard, looking over their shoulder with a slight smile, wearing a purple faux fur coat off the shoulders, and a tattoo on their back that says 'DEARTHAIR.'

How coaching works

  • My PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation is one of the most rigorous in the industry. It requires verified training hours, mentoring, and an independent performance evaluation.

  • My Cuddlist, Cuddle Therapy certification trains practitioners in consensual, professional, trauma informed, non-sexual touch, a powerful tool for building body safety, trust, and nervous system regulation.

  • I’ve passed several verified trainings in neurodivergence, ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety. I understand how attention, sensory processing, and anxiety can shape the way you experience intimacy and relationships, and how to work with these parts of you, instead of against them.

  • Somatic coaching means we work with your nervous system, not just your thoughts. Connecting with your body is essential to finding reliable, lasting change for issues like tightness, arousal problems, and freezing.

Silhouette of a man with styled hair and beard sitting by a window, looking away, in a dimly lit room.

Safety & Consent Promise

Every session (whether we’re working on exploring a kink or building relationship skills) is rooted in informed consent, trauma-sensitivity, and absolute confidentiality. Your boundaries are foundational to our work.

This is the part where you stop reading and start changing 👏

Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.
Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.

  1. Book your free “First Date” call (aka consultation) to get to know each other.

  2. We'll agree on a personalized plan.

  3. Invest in coaching sessions (a pay-what-supports-you sliding scale is available).

Click here to book our "first date"

At this point just book a damn call. You’ve read this far, might as well see if it’s a good fit 😉