MHS

The Megaphone

You feel a lot, so you narrate yourself before a partner gets the chance to misread you. They always know what turns you on, but being understood in bed isn't the same as being wanted.

Your pattern

You feel a lot, and for most people that's been too much. You've learned that it's safest to explain yourself before anyone else gets the chance to misunderstand you.

Strength: people always know where they stand with you, and you make big feelings sound understandable instead of scary.

Blind spot: explaining the feeling can quietly become a substitute for just letting someone be with you. And it gets exhausting always putting all this effort into making sure people understand you. Being understood isn't the same as being held.

Kinks you might enjoy

  • Ball gag / no talking scenes: a negotiated rule that removes explaining as an option, so you can practice being met without doing the work of translating yourself first.

  • Service submission: gives your energy somewhere concrete to go besides narrating, and lets you be understood through action instead of argument.

  • Praise kink: receiving affirming words instead of having to build the case for yourself flips the usual direction of effort, and lets being understood happen to you instead of being your job.

I'm an ex-evangelical turned sex coach.

I grew up with a lot of shame & fear around sex, and spent years [with support!] figuring out how to get out of my own head so I could enjoy myself in bed. 9 years and hundreds of clients later, I continue to use my own experiences and professional training in the place we all feel most vulnerable: our sex lives.

Try coaching

What working with me looks like

You won't have to convince me of anything. I already understand the pattern, so you don't need to explain yourself for me to meet you where you are. That means the energy you'd normally spend managing whether someone's keeping up with you gets to go somewhere else: actually building the thing you want, instead of translating yourself first.

If you're tired of doing all the explaining, let's skip that part. Book your intro call below and let's start building something that doesn't need a script.

Here’s what my clients say…

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex helped me build the courage to be who I truly am.
Brian
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In just three months, I’ve learned to explore and embrace my kinks.
Josh
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
One of the best decisions of my life.
Victoria
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex makes the hard work fun and serves it up with sass!
Diane
Start your journey!

It’s not talk therapy or a curriculum. Sessions are built on somatic coaching, meaning we work with your mind AND body. Inner-child work so the part of you that believes you’re “too much” or “not enough” get understood. Optional hands-on or guided demonstrations so you can actually practice and not just talk about it.

All with an approach that adjusts to you instead of the other way around.

Alex Gay with short, curly blonde hair and a beard, looking over their shoulder with a slight smile, wearing a purple faux fur coat off the shoulders, and a tattoo on their back that says 'DEARTHAIR.'

How coaching works

  • My PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation is one of the most rigorous in the industry. It requires verified training hours, mentoring, and an independent performance evaluation.

  • My Cuddlist, Cuddle Therapy certification trains practitioners in consensual, professional, trauma informed, non-sexual touch, a powerful tool for building body safety, trust, and nervous system regulation.

  • I’ve passed several verified trainings in neurodivergence, ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety. I understand how attention, sensory processing, and anxiety can shape the way you experience intimacy and relationships, and how to work with these parts of you, instead of against them.

  • Somatic coaching means we work with your nervous system, not just your thoughts. Connecting with your body is essential to finding reliable, lasting change for issues like tightness, arousal problems, and freezing.

Silhouette of a man with styled hair and beard sitting by a window, looking away, in a dimly lit room.

Safety & Consent Promise

Every session (whether we’re working on exploring a kink or building relationship skills) is rooted in informed consent, trauma-sensitivity, and absolute confidentiality. Your boundaries are foundational to our work.

This is the part where you stop reading and start changing 👏

Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.
Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.

  1. Book your free “First Date” call (aka consultation) to get to know each other.

  2. We'll agree on a personalized plan.

  3. Invest in coaching sessions (a pay-what-supports-you sliding scale is available).

Click here to book our "first date"

At this point just book a damn call. You’ve read this far, might as well see if it’s a good fit 😉