EBS

The Spotlight Chaser

You look for proof that you're enough in how visibly desired you are. You're brave enough to keep putting yourself out there, but the validation fades fast once the clothes are back on, and the chase starts over.

Your pattern

You feel things at full volume, but you've learned to file everything away before anyone gets a look inside. You'll analyze the hell out of a feeling, name it, make total sense of it, and only let it out once you've decided it's safe.

Strength: you know yourself deeply, and when you do open up, it's because you trust it, not because you got swept up.

Blind spot: someone can end up loving a very well curated version of you instead of the authentic you, which then makes you work harder to keep the walls from cracking.

Kinks you might enjoy

  • Worship play: sustained, embodied adoration gives your body the proof it's looking for in a form that actually lasts longer than a passing glance.

  • Exhibitionism (consensual, boundaried): channels the need to be visibly desired into an intentional scene, instead of an open ended chase for attention on the apps.

  • Touch based aftercare and affirmation: pairing physical affection with genuine care addresses the actual want underneath the chase, proof that you're wanted for more than the moment.

I'm an ex-evangelical turned sex coach.

I grew up with a lot of shame & fear around sex, and spent years [with support!] figuring out how to get out of my own head so I could enjoy myself in bed. 9 years and hundreds of clients later, I continue to use my own experiences and professional training in the place we all feel most vulnerable: our sex lives.

Try coaching

What working with me looks like

This isn't a hit that fades in ten minutes. It's an ongoing dynamic where you get real, consistent reflection of your worth instead of chasing proof from the ones who ghost. You're brave enough to put yourself out there. This work is about making sure that bravery finally lands somewhere that sticks.

If you're ready for that to stick, let's start now. Book your intro call below.

Here’s what my clients say…

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex helped me build the courage to be who I truly am.
Brian
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In just three months, I’ve learned to explore and embrace my kinks.
Josh
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
One of the best decisions of my life.
Victoria
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Alex makes the hard work fun and serves it up with sass!
Diane
Start your journey!

It’s not talk therapy or a curriculum. Sessions are built on somatic coaching, meaning we work with your mind AND body. Inner-child work so the part of you that believes you’re “too much” or “not enough” get understood. Optional hands-on or guided demonstrations so you can actually practice and not just talk about it.

All with an approach that adjusts to you instead of the other way around.

Alex Gay with short, curly blonde hair and a beard, looking over their shoulder with a slight smile, wearing a purple faux fur coat off the shoulders, and a tattoo on their back that says 'DEARTHAIR.'

How coaching works

  • My PCC credential from the International Coaching Federation is one of the most rigorous in the industry. It requires verified training hours, mentoring, and an independent performance evaluation.

  • My Cuddlist, Cuddle Therapy certification trains practitioners in consensual, professional, trauma informed, non-sexual touch, a powerful tool for building body safety, trust, and nervous system regulation.

  • I’ve passed several verified trainings in neurodivergence, ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety. I understand how attention, sensory processing, and anxiety can shape the way you experience intimacy and relationships, and how to work with these parts of you, instead of against them.

  • Somatic coaching means we work with your nervous system, not just your thoughts. Connecting with your body is essential to finding reliable, lasting change for issues like tightness, arousal problems, and freezing.

Silhouette of a man with styled hair and beard sitting by a window, looking away, in a dimly lit room.

Safety & Consent Promise

Every session (whether we’re working on exploring a kink or building relationship skills) is rooted in informed consent, trauma-sensitivity, and absolute confidentiality. Your boundaries are foundational to our work.

This is the part where you stop reading and start changing 👏

Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.
Alex Gay with curly hair, wearing sunglasses with orange reflection, sticking out his tongue and looking at the camera. He is looking over the top of the sunglasses and appears to be shirtless, with a tattoo visible on his shoulder.

  1. Book your free “First Date” call (aka consultation) to get to know each other.

  2. We'll agree on a personalized plan.

  3. Invest in coaching sessions (a pay-what-supports-you sliding scale is available).

Click here to book our "first date"

At this point just book a damn call. You’ve read this far, might as well see if it’s a good fit 😉